Men: Bettina is setting you up to fail by saying that it's okay for you to wake your gf/wife up by touching in (those) places without consent. It is NOT okay. Do NOT do this.
another truthful wonderful report by Bettina. Just need more public disclosure on how many false allegations are reported and not investigated by the Police service but end up in court clogging up the system that is being ridiculed about and costing innocent people a lot of hard earned money and time to defend, to be stated in the MSM but as that would be honest I won't hold my breath on that happening any time soon. the MSM have become politicians-you know when they are lying as their lips are moving.
These days, rape is often defined as "sex I decided I did not really enjoy last night". Promiscuous sluts, as we used to call them, really do f... their brains out. The old days when a girl would not sleep with a fellow unless he had promised to marry her were a lot safer for women.
It is not what puritans claim: a necessary evil, a throwback to ignorant instinct, a distraction from higher pursuits. It is not what passionless pornography suggests: a performance, a conquest, a transaction.
“Sex happens between the ears”
— Seka
Run Like Hell, Pink Floyd, The Wall
It is not what beyond feminists and military psychologists insinuate: a sublimation of violence, a channeling of aggression, a masculine dominance ritual.
“You do not know what you are missing by your microscopic examination of sexual activity to the exclusion of aspects which are fuel that ignites it. Intellectual, imaginative, romantic, emotional. This is what gives sex its surprising textures, its subtle transformations, its aphrodisiac elements. You are shrinking your world of sensations. You are withering it, starving it, draining its blood.” — Anaïs Nin
Sex is grounding. It is the return to the body. It is the acknowledgment that we are not disembodied minds, not machines, not symbols or statistics or expendable units. We are flesh. We are warmth. We are skin and sweat and breath and heartbeat.
Sex is vulnerability. It is the willingness to be seen, to be touched, to be known. It is the shedding of armor, the dropping of masks, the honesty of desire.
Sex is connection. It is the meshing of souls, the sharing of pleasure, the recognition of another’s humanity and the offering of your own.
Sex is resistance. In a world that demands you become, un-empathetic, a user, a killer, that trains you to dehumanize, that programs you to sever yourself from empathy — sex is the defiant act of remaining human.
“He was now in that state of fire that she loved. She wanted to be burnt.”
I do think this happens more often than people want to admit — situations where someone consents in the moment but later feels embarrassed, rejected, ashamed, pressured, or upset about the context, and then reframes it as something it wasn’t. Human behavior is complicated. People want to feel desired, validated, or chosen, and sometimes they go along with things they don’t actually want and then reinterpret the whole experience afterward.
That doesn’t mean real sexual assault doesn’t exist — of course it does. But pretending this dynamic never happens isn’t honest either. Both realities can be true at the same time, and our system isn’t designed to parse that nuance.
What bias are you speaking of? It seems the justice system did its job properly and acquitted these men. Innocent until proven guilty, and they could not be proven guilty. What is the problem?
What is the problem? Boy turns 18 - 3weeks later has consensual sex with a girl he knows who is 17. She makes up a story to get out work the next day and her adult boss is mandated to report what she heard. 1 week later boy is charged with rape. 2 years later, after several requests to prosecutors from the judge to throw the case out it goes to trial where her inconsistencies and outright lies see the boy acquitted quickly. However it cost the boy and his family close to $100,000 for lawyers, cost the boy his QRL (QLD rugby league) contract and possible NRL opportunities, cost him 2yrs of enjoying his life as a “normal” teenager because he was too scared to put himself in any situations that could be misconstrued, cost him his reputation with some people (though most always knew he was innocent), cost him employment/apprenticeship opportunities as had to disclose being charged on his applications, caused anxiety and heartache for him and his family (that will never go away!!) and now he is fighting for a blue card and if he can’t get one will this cost him future jobs and life experiences such as being able to coach his (future) kids footy teams etc. I’m not saying there shouldn’t be laws to protect women. But the system has definitely swung the other way. Had proper investigations taken place in this boy’s case he never would’ve been charged!!
the problem is that there is no compensation for these people who have been falsely accused. they have had to pay often exorbitant amounts of money to solicitors and barristers for their defence, often having to do their own investigations as the police did not, while trying to work to pay it all and do not receive a cent from the system that placed them in the situation, often through no fault of their own, just a person wanting to evade her own consequences or even obtain financial advantage through victims of crime compensation which is often paid before the court case and is not required to be repaid when it is found they lied. I also have no doubt that innocent people have committed suicide as they are placed in the situation of the cost and the disgrace of the allegations and are left after several years that they do not have anything left of the fight in them. also even though they are found not guilty these charges are never destroyed, they are not actually found 'not guilty' even though that is the wording, they are found to have insufficient evidence to be found guilty, yes there is a difference.
And yet these boys are going to be just fine. Rape continues to be one of the least prosecuted crimes, we have a rapist in office. My empathy well for this has run dry.
the reason rape is least prosecuted crime is the huge number of false allegations made against young men to obtain financial assistance, get off jail sentence or simply to justify their regret. If the police actually completed a thorough investigation and only charged the probable cases there would be a higher prosecution rate. how do you know these boys are going to be fine? I am sure there have been a lot of suicide from false allegations. this is also the reason the court system takes so long to go through as it is simply left for the jury to decide at great expense all round, for the innocent, taxpayers, families.
what statistical data? there is none actually done, it has never been assessed.
their lives are impeded in many legitimate ways including by the absurd cost to prove themselves innocent against the false allegations just to start. imagine if you had to find and fork out $100,000 or more and were earning just $60,000 gross a year. where would you get this sort of money? some of these allegations come from people that have never met the accuser. maybe you should listen to some of the many podcasts who cover these topics such as Garry Jubelin who interviewed a man from the mid-north coast of NSW who was a footballer then a police officer, lost his job because of the historic allegations and when it went to court she admitted she lied as he was not even in Sydney when she claimed he did this as he was recovering from a broken leg on the mid-north coast. nothing was done about her lie but it cost him $500,000, he received nothing in compensation after having to sell his home to pay for the defense lawyers. this is just one of numerous cases to be listened to. these podcasts are just the tip of the false allegations made but due to police not investigating these sex offence or DV allegations any more they all go to court to be decided.
do you know why people have committed suicide? how can you say it's from a guilty conscience when you don't know why, what they have gone through, what they have faced and what they owe in debt? until you are to that point you should never assume why the person has taken this drastic measure. shame on you! until you know the situations of every case, don't say anything. these false allegations are making it harder for those who are genuine.
The rate of false allegations is so miniscule, a man has more of a chance of being raped himself than of being falsely accused.
It sucks that a handful of men have been falsely accused, but that does not take away from the overwhelming amount of victims of SA who have never received justice.
Girl, you're the mother to 4 sons which is the only reason you're in here making such foolish arguments. Hit dogs holler I guess.
“Jesus of Nazareth, when considered as the Christ, was God’s gift to humanity, to live and die as a human. Being human means sexual activity (GASP!) Jesus hung out almost exclusively with the poor and downtrodden. He was very friendly with women, especially prostitutes. He also traveled for days on end with 12 other young men, picking peaches and eating from fields, and resting in groups. NO ONE, who is presented as a normal healthy human, grows to an age of 33(?) years without having an orgasm, or sexual interaction with other humans. Why must this be silenced? What is the major fucking problem with Mary having sex, because she’s also human and gets horny; why must an asinine story be made up that she was raped by a holy spirit? WTF?!?”
“Women talk amongst themselves about masturbation and orgasm, if they have lost their own repressions; but women in general have been known to be lying for a very long time about masturbation. Women’s magazine surveys have made it quite clear; and amateur porn makes it quite clear; and men’s experience with women makes it quite clear that women as well masturbate and orgasm upon demand — self-demand.”
I left my marriage after I'd cheated and she'd punched me in the head in my sleep.
After I'd fled, miserable and guilt-ridden at having failed her, I found out that she was campaigning to make it so I'd punched her and had even raped her.
Ironically, she picked, for her story, the night when she'd forced me into sex with threats. Probably this is how she sincerely remembers it 80% of the time.
Anyway, since I'd fled, was still young, had no reliable family and couldn't bring myself, through the feelings if failed responsibility, to run my own campaign, I spent the time alone, fully demonised, elsewhere, building a new life for myself.
It's still devastating to reflect on what I've lost, and shocking to reminisce about how much it hurt, but, other than having my warm stories ,about old friends that I no longer know, end abruptly, I am grateful. Those friends did what I needed them to do, which was make sure she was ok. She did what she needed to do to survive. I myself got to learn a lot about the world and my place in it.
Other than with a couple of psychologists over time, and a few strangers in social situations straight after, when I was completely alone, I have not shared this with anyone. Why? Because it hurts to do so, because I don't need to, but perhaps mostly because I don't want the practical awfulness of suspicion following me.
This is all to say that it can be ok, but also I really appreciated this article. Thank you!
what you write about is heartbreaking for me, I find it very hard to read but appreciate very much your journalism and projects to help, not just men but also women from the damaging behaviors of some women. Thank you.
"Despite this, Canadian feminists are seething and seeking legislative change trying to ban consent videos from evidence in such trials." There's no link here - who specifically is saying this?
Men: Bettina is setting you up to fail by saying that it's okay for you to wake your gf/wife up by touching in (those) places without consent. It is NOT okay. Do NOT do this.
another truthful wonderful report by Bettina. Just need more public disclosure on how many false allegations are reported and not investigated by the Police service but end up in court clogging up the system that is being ridiculed about and costing innocent people a lot of hard earned money and time to defend, to be stated in the MSM but as that would be honest I won't hold my breath on that happening any time soon. the MSM have become politicians-you know when they are lying as their lips are moving.
These days, rape is often defined as "sex I decided I did not really enjoy last night". Promiscuous sluts, as we used to call them, really do f... their brains out. The old days when a girl would not sleep with a fellow unless he had promised to marry her were a lot safer for women.
What is sex, really?
It is not what puritans claim: a necessary evil, a throwback to ignorant instinct, a distraction from higher pursuits. It is not what passionless pornography suggests: a performance, a conquest, a transaction.
“Sex happens between the ears”
— Seka
Run Like Hell, Pink Floyd, The Wall
It is not what beyond feminists and military psychologists insinuate: a sublimation of violence, a channeling of aggression, a masculine dominance ritual.
“You do not know what you are missing by your microscopic examination of sexual activity to the exclusion of aspects which are fuel that ignites it. Intellectual, imaginative, romantic, emotional. This is what gives sex its surprising textures, its subtle transformations, its aphrodisiac elements. You are shrinking your world of sensations. You are withering it, starving it, draining its blood.” — Anaïs Nin
Sex is grounding. It is the return to the body. It is the acknowledgment that we are not disembodied minds, not machines, not symbols or statistics or expendable units. We are flesh. We are warmth. We are skin and sweat and breath and heartbeat.
Sex is vulnerability. It is the willingness to be seen, to be touched, to be known. It is the shedding of armor, the dropping of masks, the honesty of desire.
Sex is connection. It is the meshing of souls, the sharing of pleasure, the recognition of another’s humanity and the offering of your own.
Sex is resistance. In a world that demands you become, un-empathetic, a user, a killer, that trains you to dehumanize, that programs you to sever yourself from empathy — sex is the defiant act of remaining human.
“He was now in that state of fire that she loved. She wanted to be burnt.”
― Anaïs Nin, Delta of Venus
https://griobhtha1.substack.com/p/love-as-grounding-a-valentines-day
I do think this happens more often than people want to admit — situations where someone consents in the moment but later feels embarrassed, rejected, ashamed, pressured, or upset about the context, and then reframes it as something it wasn’t. Human behavior is complicated. People want to feel desired, validated, or chosen, and sometimes they go along with things they don’t actually want and then reinterpret the whole experience afterward.
That doesn’t mean real sexual assault doesn’t exist — of course it does. But pretending this dynamic never happens isn’t honest either. Both realities can be true at the same time, and our system isn’t designed to parse that nuance.
What hope is there for justice if a man and his family’s life can be upended and ruined simply on a woman’s say so https://www.dublinlive.ie/news/dublin-news/dublin-firefighter-terence-crosbie-found-32747609
Across the board these accusers love the attention.
What bias are you speaking of? It seems the justice system did its job properly and acquitted these men. Innocent until proven guilty, and they could not be proven guilty. What is the problem?
What is the problem? Boy turns 18 - 3weeks later has consensual sex with a girl he knows who is 17. She makes up a story to get out work the next day and her adult boss is mandated to report what she heard. 1 week later boy is charged with rape. 2 years later, after several requests to prosecutors from the judge to throw the case out it goes to trial where her inconsistencies and outright lies see the boy acquitted quickly. However it cost the boy and his family close to $100,000 for lawyers, cost the boy his QRL (QLD rugby league) contract and possible NRL opportunities, cost him 2yrs of enjoying his life as a “normal” teenager because he was too scared to put himself in any situations that could be misconstrued, cost him his reputation with some people (though most always knew he was innocent), cost him employment/apprenticeship opportunities as had to disclose being charged on his applications, caused anxiety and heartache for him and his family (that will never go away!!) and now he is fighting for a blue card and if he can’t get one will this cost him future jobs and life experiences such as being able to coach his (future) kids footy teams etc. I’m not saying there shouldn’t be laws to protect women. But the system has definitely swung the other way. Had proper investigations taken place in this boy’s case he never would’ve been charged!!
LMAO of all the things that have happened, this has happened the least.
the problem is that there is no compensation for these people who have been falsely accused. they have had to pay often exorbitant amounts of money to solicitors and barristers for their defence, often having to do their own investigations as the police did not, while trying to work to pay it all and do not receive a cent from the system that placed them in the situation, often through no fault of their own, just a person wanting to evade her own consequences or even obtain financial advantage through victims of crime compensation which is often paid before the court case and is not required to be repaid when it is found they lied. I also have no doubt that innocent people have committed suicide as they are placed in the situation of the cost and the disgrace of the allegations and are left after several years that they do not have anything left of the fight in them. also even though they are found not guilty these charges are never destroyed, they are not actually found 'not guilty' even though that is the wording, they are found to have insufficient evidence to be found guilty, yes there is a difference.
And yet these boys are going to be just fine. Rape continues to be one of the least prosecuted crimes, we have a rapist in office. My empathy well for this has run dry.
the reason rape is least prosecuted crime is the huge number of false allegations made against young men to obtain financial assistance, get off jail sentence or simply to justify their regret. If the police actually completed a thorough investigation and only charged the probable cases there would be a higher prosecution rate. how do you know these boys are going to be fine? I am sure there have been a lot of suicide from false allegations. this is also the reason the court system takes so long to go through as it is simply left for the jury to decide at great expense all round, for the innocent, taxpayers, families.
>the huge number of false allegations made against young men
This is so blatantly absurd and false per statistical data. I mean, are you being serious right now?
>how do you know
Because statistically, they are. Nothing is going to happen to them, they're lives will not be impeded in any type of legitimate way.
>there have been a lot of suicide
Or, more likely, guilty conscious.
what statistical data? there is none actually done, it has never been assessed.
their lives are impeded in many legitimate ways including by the absurd cost to prove themselves innocent against the false allegations just to start. imagine if you had to find and fork out $100,000 or more and were earning just $60,000 gross a year. where would you get this sort of money? some of these allegations come from people that have never met the accuser. maybe you should listen to some of the many podcasts who cover these topics such as Garry Jubelin who interviewed a man from the mid-north coast of NSW who was a footballer then a police officer, lost his job because of the historic allegations and when it went to court she admitted she lied as he was not even in Sydney when she claimed he did this as he was recovering from a broken leg on the mid-north coast. nothing was done about her lie but it cost him $500,000, he received nothing in compensation after having to sell his home to pay for the defense lawyers. this is just one of numerous cases to be listened to. these podcasts are just the tip of the false allegations made but due to police not investigating these sex offence or DV allegations any more they all go to court to be decided.
do you know why people have committed suicide? how can you say it's from a guilty conscience when you don't know why, what they have gone through, what they have faced and what they owe in debt? until you are to that point you should never assume why the person has taken this drastic measure. shame on you! until you know the situations of every case, don't say anything. these false allegations are making it harder for those who are genuine.
The rate of false allegations is so miniscule, a man has more of a chance of being raped himself than of being falsely accused.
It sucks that a handful of men have been falsely accused, but that does not take away from the overwhelming amount of victims of SA who have never received justice.
Girl, you're the mother to 4 sons which is the only reason you're in here making such foolish arguments. Hit dogs holler I guess.
“Jesus of Nazareth, when considered as the Christ, was God’s gift to humanity, to live and die as a human. Being human means sexual activity (GASP!) Jesus hung out almost exclusively with the poor and downtrodden. He was very friendly with women, especially prostitutes. He also traveled for days on end with 12 other young men, picking peaches and eating from fields, and resting in groups. NO ONE, who is presented as a normal healthy human, grows to an age of 33(?) years without having an orgasm, or sexual interaction with other humans. Why must this be silenced? What is the major fucking problem with Mary having sex, because she’s also human and gets horny; why must an asinine story be made up that she was raped by a holy spirit? WTF?!?”
https://griobhtha1.substack.com/p/x-rubicon-learning-to-fly
“Women talk amongst themselves about masturbation and orgasm, if they have lost their own repressions; but women in general have been known to be lying for a very long time about masturbation. Women’s magazine surveys have made it quite clear; and amateur porn makes it quite clear; and men’s experience with women makes it quite clear that women as well masturbate and orgasm upon demand — self-demand.”
https://griobhtha1.substack.com/p/x-rubicon-learning-to-fly
I left my marriage after I'd cheated and she'd punched me in the head in my sleep.
After I'd fled, miserable and guilt-ridden at having failed her, I found out that she was campaigning to make it so I'd punched her and had even raped her.
Ironically, she picked, for her story, the night when she'd forced me into sex with threats. Probably this is how she sincerely remembers it 80% of the time.
Anyway, since I'd fled, was still young, had no reliable family and couldn't bring myself, through the feelings if failed responsibility, to run my own campaign, I spent the time alone, fully demonised, elsewhere, building a new life for myself.
It's still devastating to reflect on what I've lost, and shocking to reminisce about how much it hurt, but, other than having my warm stories ,about old friends that I no longer know, end abruptly, I am grateful. Those friends did what I needed them to do, which was make sure she was ok. She did what she needed to do to survive. I myself got to learn a lot about the world and my place in it.
Other than with a couple of psychologists over time, and a few strangers in social situations straight after, when I was completely alone, I have not shared this with anyone. Why? Because it hurts to do so, because I don't need to, but perhaps mostly because I don't want the practical awfulness of suspicion following me.
This is all to say that it can be ok, but also I really appreciated this article. Thank you!
Quite mad. A ludicrous industry.
UK. Start at 17 minutes.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SC4N6N4RuiU&pp=QAFIAQ%3D%3D
what you write about is heartbreaking for me, I find it very hard to read but appreciate very much your journalism and projects to help, not just men but also women from the damaging behaviors of some women. Thank you.
"Despite this, Canadian feminists are seething and seeking legislative change trying to ban consent videos from evidence in such trials." There's no link here - who specifically is saying this?
In a sick and twisted way it seems some are saying the boys 'asked for it'.