Women are great at coercive control

- Our authorities deny this truth in order to target only men.

Here we go, folk. The new attack on men has been launched. Coercive control is now a criminal offence in NSW, punishable by seven years in prison.

Now the fun begins, as the NSW government launches its massive campaign to try to ensure that only the right people are punished for this newly concocted form of evil behaviour - a preview of what will happen in other states as similar laws are rolled out across the nation.

Look at this list of people most at risk from coercive control, according to the NSW government website:

• Women

• People with disability

• Aboriginal people

• People from multicultural, migrant or refugee backgrounds

• LGBTQI people

• Older people

• Children and young people

Funny that. We’re talking about almost everyone, EXCEPT ordinary, heterosexual blokes. “Cisgender” men, as the government literature calls them, claiming they are overwhelmingly the perpetrators.

No matter that our official Australian Bureau of Statistics data shows men just as likely as women to be victims of emotional abuse – defined using many of the same behaviours now listed as coercive control. See this image from the ABS website a few years ago.

For just one day some years ago the ABS website referred to “coercive control” in describing this equally common male and female behaviour but that data is now suitably massaged to fit the new narrative.

No way you are going to see male victims in any of the new propaganda material pouring out of all our governments, dutifully promoted by the ABC and other compliant media. But this new front in “gendered violence” has hit a bit of a stumbling block. It appears the bureaucrats have discovered the abundant evidence that lesbians are brilliant at emotional abuse, in fact they excel at all types of domestic violence.

Hence, we find one of the new propaganda videos featuring Jade being coerced by her girlfriend. The nasty perpetrator is shown pulling meanly on Jade’s pet dog’s leash. “They even hurt the ones you love,” notes the solemn commentary. Hmm, the lesbian theme rather dismantles the gendered violence narrative, doesn’t it?

Of course, most of the new videos feature nasty, coercive men. Like the ethnic version featuring Anjali and her controlling husband, who shuts off her laptop, takes away her mobile phone and won’t let her have a job. “They need you all to themselves,” comments the narrator.

Sometimes the producers keep you guessing, as in this Queensland government campaign, where Ben, a male “survivor” talks about how “they” persecute him by constantly monitoring his text messages and phonecalls. Sneaky way of avoiding explaining whether Ben’s abuser is a “he” or “she”.  

But naturally, there’s never, ever any mention of female perpetrators controlling men. Never any mention of men who spend their lives being coerced by vindictive partners. Men who don’t dare leave the relationship because that would mean putting their children at risk by leaving them with a frightening mother.

Absolutely no chance of hearing their side of the story.

Unless of course, you come to the Restoring the Presumption of Innocence conference where you will hear from a bunch of Australian men who were victims of coercive control.  These men were part of a cohort of nearly 1000 local men who took part in the large international survey on male victims of coercive control run by the University of Central Lancashire. Their experiences represent the truth that our governments are so determined to bury.  

Take a look at the press release we released last week, promoting the conference. As you might imagine, most of our media wasn’t interested. (It would be great if you could share it on your social media.)

But what media exposure we have achieved has resulted in fascinating people coming out of the woodwork, all keen to be involved, like former prosecutors, police officers, lawyers.

Funnily enough I heard from one woman who had discovered my work through the Long Bay Jail grapevine. Her partner is in prison as a result of a false sexual assault allegation, and was told by other prisoners about our campaigning. 

Then there was the former social worker and child protection bureaucrat who is now writing blogs on Substack. We’ve managed to squeeze him into the conference program where he will wade into very deep waters indeed. He’s pulling together the abundant evidence that shows that removing dad from the home increases the risk to children, particularly when the single mother pairs up with a new boyfriend. The social worker is writing under the pseudonym, Lori Lavers, since he knows all too well that even though everyone in child protection knows the vulnerability of children in single mum families, woe betide anyone who talks publicly about it. His stories from the coalface will be worth hearing.  

But it has been chilling talking to potential speakers and realising how many would risk their careers if they told the truth about what is going on in our justice system. We won’t be naming some of the brave speakers who are now joining us – including some who are household names.

But it is all looking great. We are squeezing in all sorts of truth-tellers into this remarkable one-day event and tickets are selling well. Do act now if you want to be sure to be able to be part of what promises to be a remarkable day. Or sign in for live streaming if you can’t make it to Sydney on August 31.  

We’re including a call for action – what can we do to restore that presumption of innocence? There’s no point talking all day about the ways the system is now stacked against men without thinking through what we can do to improve things. We’re hoping for a very exciting surprise speaker to advise us on how we can get action on punishing false accusers. Now wouldn’t that be a step forward?  

But we’ll also be talking about how people can protect themselves – from false allegations of coercive control, for example. We’ve just had a former prosecutor and a criminal lawyer update our advice for these men – included in our comprehensive coverage of this topic on the Mothers of Sons website. Any man in a shaky relationship really should read this vital information. Plus, there’s advice for male victims.

If you have never looked at the MoS information on coercive control, please check it out. We spent many months researching and putting it all together.  It is the most comprehensive, truthful analysis of this dangerous new law available in this country.

Just this week I spoke to a number of police officers who are tearing their hair out at the prospect of having to charge men over a crime that is undefinable, let alone unprovable. Such a waste of police resources. But lots of lawyers will get richer defending these poor blighters. And feminists are rubbing their hands with glee at the prospect of more men behind bars.