And when the father sees a doctor or therapist to help if he is dealing with suicidal ideation, the notes and records are subpoenaed and used against him in family court.
So no dad in a custody battle is safe seeking help.
My psychologist records were subpoenaed, and I sat for a couple hours being cross examined on them.
So do I advise men to seek help? It's a question I have.
We've recently held two royal commissions relating to sexual abuse in institutional settings. Whilst the media has tried to keep it secret about 80%(95% in Victoria) of the identified victims are male. All of them had been excluded from taxpayer funded mental health services for victims, many for decades. If the numbers of suicides known of by witnesses in the Victorian inquiry were extrapolated across the nation they would number in the thousands. Many of those suicides wouldn't have occurred had they been able to access the help they needed.
Those responsible, particularly certain class ideologues, will never be called to order but should never be forgiven.
Why are these women so full of hate that they are content to be responsible for another persons life. The young girls are so entitled, uncaring, selfish, who is to blame for the way they are, is it their upbringing. I was lucky to have a good mother who cared for her children, my siblings and I were raised to be thoughtful, kind and unselfish. Todays Woke females have no values or principles, they are all about me, me, me. They want men to be slaves to their every need, they contribute less to the home but are happy to spend the money. I feel these entitled women are pretenders, they are not hard workers, they are not good mothers yet they are good liars and that is about what they are good at.
Thanks for caring, Bettina. I went to bed around 2 am two nights ago after engaging in a futile debate (6 on 1 which is a far better ratio than usual) on a football forum of all things. The issue of the abuse being meted out to female umpires in Aussie Rules comps was the topic and all of the usual shit was being spewed after a "report" carried out by a feminist found that the abuse of females was somehow far more heinous and dangerous than any abuse flung at male umpires.
I jumped in and asked why we had to continually make every issue a gendered one with the women always apparently copping the worst be it umpiring, climate change, war, natural disasters, politics, poverty etc.
I was mocked and a number said I had to be joking when I suggested men are in fact far more negatively impacted by almost any measure you care to apply to the well being of our men and women. I wrote about suicide. workplace deaths, homelessness, education, our Family Law courts and health.
I was accused of being a supporter of violence against women, a vomit spewing moron with some kind of weird woman hating agenda and another said he recalled I had the temerity to write an angry letter to Rosie Batty and that told him all he needed to know about me.
They said I wanted women to have all their rights stripped away and would be much happier if men were dominating like they did in the dark ages pre the 1960's. I also got the obligatory line about having been rejected by a woman as an explanation for my obtuse demand that we give the same amount of compassion and empathy to the suffering of men and boys as we do
women and girls.
I wrote calmly without a one negative word about women, yet this was the shit which reigned down upon me.
I went to bed feeling demoralized and depressed. It is such a hopeless task, yet I will continue to speak out and write the occasional article. But how devastating it is to be reminded for the thousandth time just what contempt males are held in by most of the men and women in our society.
Scratch the surface-dip your toe in the water of advocacy for men and boys and watch the incoming flak. It is shameful and makes people like you all the more extraordinary, Bettina.
Just to clarify a point... men who would never ever contemplate suicide, when it suddenly hits home that the marriage and family that they presumed to be their life until "death do us part", is now gone forever, something like a panic attack can occur. Everything goes dark. The walls close in. A feeling of utter abandonment and profound loss rushes in like a black pavillion collapsing down around one. The feeling is unbearable and anything outside ceases to exist. It must end. It has to end.
If one has the means of killing oneself, it happens then. If not, it does not.
This attack can last for an hour, or for a day or even weeks. The longer it lasts the more likely that suicide will occur. People say it is the gutless way out but the victim is eons beyond such considerations.
It was my observation as a worker coming into contact with family breakups, that men are way more committed to marriage relationships than are women. There is sociological evidence that Australian and American women go through a pre-menopausal period of alianation and anger, which may be part of the problem, but the text describing this could not contribute and explanation.
Men: 2384, Women: 755, Gender Imbalance = 1629 men
Intimate Partner Murder:
Men: 9, Women: 34, Gender Imbalance = 25 women
But we all know that men are disposable—their lives are worth less than women’s, right? And therefore, the tragic deaths of those 25 women is a national emergency, but the tragic deaths of those 1629 men needs to be swept under the rug, right?
We should be spending much more money and effort on preventing those 25 female deaths than on preventing those 1629 male deaths, right?
Another very important contribution Bettina. This confirms my view as a single man that things like suicide, homelessness, poverty and incarceration are overwhelmingly male issues though you would never know it with things like the fabricated "gender pay gap" and the "super pay gap" being bandied about as if they are actually real, which they are not. I'd like to put a slightly different take on this relating to my deep disgust at seeing some of the truly offensive advertisements that are being displayed on the sides of Sydney buses by Sydney Mission which are not only designed to denigrate homeless men, but also to hijack the homelessness issue and turn it into something to do with domestic violence. If some suicidal men see these appalling advertisements and take their lives as a result this is hardly surprising. I recently heard the CEO of Sydney Mission talking about the increase of 'at risk' people which allows her to conveniently speak about women instead of men. If you're 'at risk' it means that you aren't actually homeless but you can still qualify for support. Call me a cynic but I suspect this is a great way to deny support to homeless men and diverting scarce resources to 'at risk' people who are invariably women who may not even be in need of accommodation. After seeing these advertisements which I believe may be tied to government support on condition that they turn homelessness into a domestic violence issue, I absolutely refuse to donate any money to these once worthy institutions because the impression I get is they now deliver absolutely the worst type of community service i.e. a service that makes politically motivated judgment calls against the most vulnerable people in society that are entirely based on what somebody looks like rather than their personal needs.
Male suicide following a relationship breakdown is an absolute tragedy, but in many ways, unsurprising.
A study I read recently (will add the citation if I can find it) claimed that men are often much more emotionally invested in a marriage or long term relationship than women.
One of the primary observations was that men often give up most of the relationships they had with male peers, with the relationship becoming increasingly centred around the female partners existing social network.
When men go into a relationship, they often go all in, while women have a tendency to have one foot outside of the relationship, which is facilitated by their strong female network.
Males are also literally invested in the relationship with a traditional approach to financial obligations such as mortgages and other liabilities often still resting squarely on the shoulders of men. When these assets are divided during a separation, the ledger rarely accurately represents the equity contribution of each party, frequently leaving men substantially worse off relative to their financial contribution to the relationship.
Women also have an expectation that men should bring assets into a new relationship, even if the women doesn't have any herself. For many women, a man without assets is a definite non-starter.
A telling reality of the emotional commitment to a relationship, and perhaps even the degree of true love itself, is that men commit suicide when their wife leaves the relationship out of despair and a broken heart. Women are most likely to commit suicide when their husband retires, spending almost all of his time with his wife - a scenario she can no longer contend with.
Facts don’t lie.
Women think they have a mortgage on love and commitment. I don’t believe that for a moment.
I have never suffered from suicidal ideation even though I have been going through Dante’s 9 circles of Family Court Hell for over 7 years (and still not finished) and now suffer from chronic depression.
My psych has raised this as a talking point over the past 7 years and all I can really say for why I am not at risk of suicide is that I’m too damned stubborn.
Over the years I have lost too many family members, friends and acquaintances to suicide (nearly all of whom have been male) which is one of the compelling reasons I couldn’t contemplate taking my own life; I would never want to place this trauma on my kids.
Having experienced it myself, I can understand and appreciate the pressures, angst and utter despair caused by our barbaric duluthian Family Courts and DV courts that drives some men to self-harm, reclusiveness, others to suicide and some men to acts of domestic violence; neither are justified, but until we publicly admit the predominant causes of male suicide in Australia, this escalating tragedy will continue unchecked.
Well said! Thank you!
Bravo Bettina!!! Thank you....
Good new article (from Baskerville) explaining how the feminist-government industrial complex works and ties in with woke politics:
https://chroniclesmagazine.org/featured/revolt-of-the-fatherless/
And when the father sees a doctor or therapist to help if he is dealing with suicidal ideation, the notes and records are subpoenaed and used against him in family court.
So no dad in a custody battle is safe seeking help.
My psychologist records were subpoenaed, and I sat for a couple hours being cross examined on them.
So do I advise men to seek help? It's a question I have.
Will be be blocked here again - Unemployed Peoples Embassy@gmail.com
We've recently held two royal commissions relating to sexual abuse in institutional settings. Whilst the media has tried to keep it secret about 80%(95% in Victoria) of the identified victims are male. All of them had been excluded from taxpayer funded mental health services for victims, many for decades. If the numbers of suicides known of by witnesses in the Victorian inquiry were extrapolated across the nation they would number in the thousands. Many of those suicides wouldn't have occurred had they been able to access the help they needed.
Those responsible, particularly certain class ideologues, will never be called to order but should never be forgiven.
Why are these women so full of hate that they are content to be responsible for another persons life. The young girls are so entitled, uncaring, selfish, who is to blame for the way they are, is it their upbringing. I was lucky to have a good mother who cared for her children, my siblings and I were raised to be thoughtful, kind and unselfish. Todays Woke females have no values or principles, they are all about me, me, me. They want men to be slaves to their every need, they contribute less to the home but are happy to spend the money. I feel these entitled women are pretenders, they are not hard workers, they are not good mothers yet they are good liars and that is about what they are good at.
Thanks for caring, Bettina. I went to bed around 2 am two nights ago after engaging in a futile debate (6 on 1 which is a far better ratio than usual) on a football forum of all things. The issue of the abuse being meted out to female umpires in Aussie Rules comps was the topic and all of the usual shit was being spewed after a "report" carried out by a feminist found that the abuse of females was somehow far more heinous and dangerous than any abuse flung at male umpires.
I jumped in and asked why we had to continually make every issue a gendered one with the women always apparently copping the worst be it umpiring, climate change, war, natural disasters, politics, poverty etc.
I was mocked and a number said I had to be joking when I suggested men are in fact far more negatively impacted by almost any measure you care to apply to the well being of our men and women. I wrote about suicide. workplace deaths, homelessness, education, our Family Law courts and health.
I was accused of being a supporter of violence against women, a vomit spewing moron with some kind of weird woman hating agenda and another said he recalled I had the temerity to write an angry letter to Rosie Batty and that told him all he needed to know about me.
They said I wanted women to have all their rights stripped away and would be much happier if men were dominating like they did in the dark ages pre the 1960's. I also got the obligatory line about having been rejected by a woman as an explanation for my obtuse demand that we give the same amount of compassion and empathy to the suffering of men and boys as we do
women and girls.
I wrote calmly without a one negative word about women, yet this was the shit which reigned down upon me.
I went to bed feeling demoralized and depressed. It is such a hopeless task, yet I will continue to speak out and write the occasional article. But how devastating it is to be reminded for the thousandth time just what contempt males are held in by most of the men and women in our society.
Scratch the surface-dip your toe in the water of advocacy for men and boys and watch the incoming flak. It is shameful and makes people like you all the more extraordinary, Bettina.
Thanks.
The latest effort from the Conversation, links the threat of suicide with coercive control.https://theconversation.com/perpetrators-of-family-violence-sometimes-use-threats-of-suicide-to-control-their-partner-182416
Just to clarify a point... men who would never ever contemplate suicide, when it suddenly hits home that the marriage and family that they presumed to be their life until "death do us part", is now gone forever, something like a panic attack can occur. Everything goes dark. The walls close in. A feeling of utter abandonment and profound loss rushes in like a black pavillion collapsing down around one. The feeling is unbearable and anything outside ceases to exist. It must end. It has to end.
If one has the means of killing oneself, it happens then. If not, it does not.
This attack can last for an hour, or for a day or even weeks. The longer it lasts the more likely that suicide will occur. People say it is the gutless way out but the victim is eons beyond such considerations.
It was my observation as a worker coming into contact with family breakups, that men are way more committed to marriage relationships than are women. There is sociological evidence that Australian and American women go through a pre-menopausal period of alianation and anger, which may be part of the problem, but the text describing this could not contribute and explanation.
In Australia in 2020,
Suicides:
Men: 2384, Women: 755, Gender Imbalance = 1629 men
Intimate Partner Murder:
Men: 9, Women: 34, Gender Imbalance = 25 women
But we all know that men are disposable—their lives are worth less than women’s, right? And therefore, the tragic deaths of those 25 women is a national emergency, but the tragic deaths of those 1629 men needs to be swept under the rug, right?
We should be spending much more money and effort on preventing those 25 female deaths than on preventing those 1629 male deaths, right?
https://www.aic.gov.au/sites/default/files/2022-03/sr39_homicide_in_australia_2019-20.pdf
https://lifeinmind.org.au/about-suicide/suicide-data/suicide-facts-and-stats
Another very important contribution Bettina. This confirms my view as a single man that things like suicide, homelessness, poverty and incarceration are overwhelmingly male issues though you would never know it with things like the fabricated "gender pay gap" and the "super pay gap" being bandied about as if they are actually real, which they are not. I'd like to put a slightly different take on this relating to my deep disgust at seeing some of the truly offensive advertisements that are being displayed on the sides of Sydney buses by Sydney Mission which are not only designed to denigrate homeless men, but also to hijack the homelessness issue and turn it into something to do with domestic violence. If some suicidal men see these appalling advertisements and take their lives as a result this is hardly surprising. I recently heard the CEO of Sydney Mission talking about the increase of 'at risk' people which allows her to conveniently speak about women instead of men. If you're 'at risk' it means that you aren't actually homeless but you can still qualify for support. Call me a cynic but I suspect this is a great way to deny support to homeless men and diverting scarce resources to 'at risk' people who are invariably women who may not even be in need of accommodation. After seeing these advertisements which I believe may be tied to government support on condition that they turn homelessness into a domestic violence issue, I absolutely refuse to donate any money to these once worthy institutions because the impression I get is they now deliver absolutely the worst type of community service i.e. a service that makes politically motivated judgment calls against the most vulnerable people in society that are entirely based on what somebody looks like rather than their personal needs.
Thank you again , I can empathise with men going through this pain
Excellent article bettina , thank u for your concern for the welfare of these men .
Male suicide following a relationship breakdown is an absolute tragedy, but in many ways, unsurprising.
A study I read recently (will add the citation if I can find it) claimed that men are often much more emotionally invested in a marriage or long term relationship than women.
One of the primary observations was that men often give up most of the relationships they had with male peers, with the relationship becoming increasingly centred around the female partners existing social network.
When men go into a relationship, they often go all in, while women have a tendency to have one foot outside of the relationship, which is facilitated by their strong female network.
Males are also literally invested in the relationship with a traditional approach to financial obligations such as mortgages and other liabilities often still resting squarely on the shoulders of men. When these assets are divided during a separation, the ledger rarely accurately represents the equity contribution of each party, frequently leaving men substantially worse off relative to their financial contribution to the relationship.
Women also have an expectation that men should bring assets into a new relationship, even if the women doesn't have any herself. For many women, a man without assets is a definite non-starter.
A telling reality of the emotional commitment to a relationship, and perhaps even the degree of true love itself, is that men commit suicide when their wife leaves the relationship out of despair and a broken heart. Women are most likely to commit suicide when their husband retires, spending almost all of his time with his wife - a scenario she can no longer contend with.
Facts don’t lie.
Women think they have a mortgage on love and commitment. I don’t believe that for a moment.
I have never suffered from suicidal ideation even though I have been going through Dante’s 9 circles of Family Court Hell for over 7 years (and still not finished) and now suffer from chronic depression.
My psych has raised this as a talking point over the past 7 years and all I can really say for why I am not at risk of suicide is that I’m too damned stubborn.
Over the years I have lost too many family members, friends and acquaintances to suicide (nearly all of whom have been male) which is one of the compelling reasons I couldn’t contemplate taking my own life; I would never want to place this trauma on my kids.
Having experienced it myself, I can understand and appreciate the pressures, angst and utter despair caused by our barbaric duluthian Family Courts and DV courts that drives some men to self-harm, reclusiveness, others to suicide and some men to acts of domestic violence; neither are justified, but until we publicly admit the predominant causes of male suicide in Australia, this escalating tragedy will continue unchecked.