BTW…if you are a young male, and you marry, and your partner starts to exhibit sociopathic/narcissistic/abusive behaviours, LEAVE. Right away. Same as for a woman. You get married and your husband starts doing something really nasty - LEAVE. Don’t work on it. Don’t go to counseling. The chances of you ‘counseling’ this away is slim to no…
BTW…if you are a young male, and you marry, and your partner starts to exhibit sociopathic/narcissistic/abusive behaviours, LEAVE. Right away. Same as for a woman. You get married and your husband starts doing something really nasty - LEAVE. Don’t work on it. Don’t go to counseling. The chances of you ‘counseling’ this away is slim to none. Yeah, it is theoretically possible. You can negotiate or counsel away domestic chore differences, even the odd sexual issue, if it isn’t a deeply seated problem, and some minor financial issues. But Personality Disorders can not be negotiated away.
When a man has a wife who behaves abominably it’s like, oh , women. Like anyone with a moral compass would cheat on their husband and then try to take his assets. That’s a bad person.
As far as an abusive husband, I definitely wouldn’t blame the wife. I would definitely not think that no woman should get married because every man would beat his wife if he got the chance, if the law allowed.
I would assume that she missed something when she married him, that she had abuse in her background so red flags didn’t alarm her.
“Women like dangerous men”- getting involved with a man a woman herself considers dangerous is a very stupid thing to do.
Some people are basically whole, some people are not. The abusers are definitely not okay.
Usually a victim has been victimized before.
But with a man, the story goes that he has no baggage and chose a totally normal woman and then bam.
So you most definitely have a point.
I don’t think I am blaming the man as much as I am saying that an abusive woman, like an abusive man, is not representative of their sex as a whole.
BTW…if you are a young male, and you marry, and your partner starts to exhibit sociopathic/narcissistic/abusive behaviours, LEAVE. Right away. Same as for a woman. You get married and your husband starts doing something really nasty - LEAVE. Don’t work on it. Don’t go to counseling. The chances of you ‘counseling’ this away is slim to none. Yeah, it is theoretically possible. You can negotiate or counsel away domestic chore differences, even the odd sexual issue, if it isn’t a deeply seated problem, and some minor financial issues. But Personality Disorders can not be negotiated away.
You make a good point.
When a man has a wife who behaves abominably it’s like, oh , women. Like anyone with a moral compass would cheat on their husband and then try to take his assets. That’s a bad person.
As far as an abusive husband, I definitely wouldn’t blame the wife. I would definitely not think that no woman should get married because every man would beat his wife if he got the chance, if the law allowed.
I would assume that she missed something when she married him, that she had abuse in her background so red flags didn’t alarm her.
“Women like dangerous men”- getting involved with a man a woman herself considers dangerous is a very stupid thing to do.
Some people are basically whole, some people are not. The abusers are definitely not okay.
Usually a victim has been victimized before.
But with a man, the story goes that he has no baggage and chose a totally normal woman and then bam.
So you most definitely have a point.
I don’t think I am blaming the man as much as I am saying that an abusive woman, like an abusive man, is not representative of their sex as a whole.
https://bettinaarndt.substack.com/p/women-are-great-at-coercive-control/comment/83731027?r=2z8wkz&utm_medium=ios
My original comment is actually saying just that.